wold have one longer but needed to be home to cook dinner etc.
These days i think about the mechanics , the metronomic notion of getting up in the morning and the time i can't either do what i want , or can't really enjoy what i shouldn't be doing . Because i exactly shouldn't. To make these evening pieces a little more alive, not so dead , not so stilted perhaps i should keep a notebook and make triumphant entries in it throughout the day. This is a good excuse to buy a notebook.
Is this too close to write about, has my pride and my inability to take these clowns seriously affected my prospects. I think it has. i'm afraid right now, of losing everything ; including my health. This fear has work so tightly bundled within it that it is difficult to talk about withot seeing everything else flow from my chest to my mouth like a river you should swim from.
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